i remember my first trimester and wishing that i would die. i had THE WORST morning sickness. it wasn't the throwing-up-all-day type. it was more like i couldn't get out of bed because i felt like i was dying every second that i was awake. you know that feeling you get right before you're about to throw up? that peak moment when you're so sick to your stomach that the next thing to do would be to throw up? well, imagine that peak feeling except for it lasts all day (instead of seconds) and there's no vomiting involved (thank God!). i felt like i was chained to my bed because it wouldn't go away. i could not, for the life of me, get any relief. everyone told me to drink ginger ale but that sure as heck didn't help. it did, however, make me HATE the taste of ginger ale. until now, i still won't order ginger ale as my beverage in restaurants. and then, there was that feeling of dire hunger. i would feel super hungry yet when i did get the chance to eat, i could only eat a handful of food. no, really. the food i consumed was probably the size of my palm. that's about 3-4 bites and then, i was full. an hour later, i'd be hungry again and the cycle seemed never-ending. also, nothing except sour foods tasted good. everyday, i ate super sour green mangoes with vinegar and bagoong (shrimp paste). all that acid made my stomach hurt but i didn't care because it was the only thing that tasted good to me. so i would force myself to eat a few bites of my meals then proceeded to eat all the mangoes my heart desired. i'd even suck on lemons and dip them in salt because that's how good it tasted to me. i was still always hungry, still always nauseous, and definitely drained of energy. how do people live like this?! i felt super tired and i was sleeping about 12-14 hours everyday. my bed was my bestfriend.
fast forward two months and i welcomed my second trimester with hopes of feeling better, getting more active, eating properly, and getting enough (but not too much) sleep. nope. that didn't happen either. i was hot and thirsty ALL THE TIME. i imagine this must be what vampires feel like. that perpetual thirst that never gets quenched. yup, that's what it was like. i could drink water and chew on ice everyday and still not be satisfied. my eating habits were still the same. i couldn't eat very much food and i definitely have hungry eyes so it made it that much more tortuous. when i found out that i only gained 5 lbs and i was already at 6 months, i went into panic mode and ate everything in sight. i only stopped eating when i was about to throw up or felt sick to my stomach. and in about 3 weeks, i managed to gain 8 more lbs. that put my mind at ease. my doctor told me i don't have to worry about gaining weight because i was already overweight to begin with but i couldn't sleep at night knowing that i was only up 5 lbs after 6 months. that just didn't sit well with me at all. when i finally got my weight up to 13 lbs, i calmed down on the ice cream and sweet treats and went back to eating regularly. oh and i also had a mild coconut obsession. i couldn't find any relief for my thirst so i started researching and found out that coconuts are a pregnant person's bestfriend. apparently, it helps you hydrate and keep your fluids in your body. it's also anti bacterial, anti viral, and anti fungal. which means, it's cleaner than water and definitely much better at hydrating. so, i drank 2 fresh young coconuts a day and my boyfriend became an expert at opening coconuts with a cleaver. he got so good at it that it only took him 3 strikes to open up a coconut for me. aren't i a lucky girl?
when people told me that i would be getting sleep my second trimester, they lied. because i was so thirsty throughout the day, i would get up to pee constantly. at night, i at least woke up 5-6 times to go to the bathroom. i peed so much, i didn't think it was possible for me to have all that water inside me. everyone always tells me i look too big to be *insert number of weeks here*. i figured they can all just shut the fuck up because it's mostly water weight. and it's true. until now (at 31 weeks), i still don't look pregnant or swollen unless people see my huge belly. anyway, slowly but surely, i was able to eat more food and steadily, too. i started to go out to eat at restaurants again because i had no more nausea and i also was about to eat just about anything. no more incessant cravings for all things sour. this time, i got very excited at the sight of sweet yellow mangoes and coconuts! i would go through boxes every week. my poor boyfriend had to keep doing grocery because i would eat everything that my eyes saw.
now that i'm in my third trimester, life is a bitch! first of all, there's this growing pressure in my crotch area. i asked my doctor about it and he said that it's just the pressure from the weight of the baby. my baby approximately weighs 3 lbs and 11 ounces so i'm assuming the rest of the weight i gained is just water? and yes, i stayed at 13 lbs. i haven't lost nor gained any weight and i'm not quite sure if i should be concerned. everyone tells me i'll balloon on my last month. well, we'll see. cause i don't want my baby underweight so if i have to, i will eat everything that i see. again. LOL. the thing that sucks about my third trimester is that i'm always hot, hungry, and the baby likes to kick my cervix and sit on my bladder. put all those things together with my raging hormones and it's really not a pretty sight. my house temperature is set to 72 degrees and i have a fan blasting directly infront of my yet i still sweat and feel hotter than ever. it seems as if i wake up sweaty every single day. it's just so annoying. also, i'm hungry all the time now. i will eat anything. and by anything, i mean ANYTHING. before, i would be super picky because nothing tasted right even if i was hungry. now, you can pretty much put a plate of food and i'll probably lick the plate clean. you could feed be bull's testicles or ostrich tacos and there wouldn't be a difference for me. food is food and as long as this baby inside me stops kicking for food, i will eat whatever i can, whenever i can. what i can't stand, however, is this feeling of having to pee all the time even if i've just finished peeing. the baby likes to sit or punch my bladder. my doctor thought i had UTI but that's not the case. there's no burning or itching or any discomfort when i pee. i either pee a little or a lot. it's really not consistent like my second trimester. now, what kills me is when the baby kicks my cervix! the pain is excruciating!!! it feels like someone punches me in my vagina. i can only imagine how guys feel when their testicles get punched. yup, that's what it must feel like. and because the baby does it so often, i'm no longer allowed to drive by myself. oh and Ted also learned how to move the baby when i cry out in pain. i don't know how to do it myself but it helps that he knows how. i definitely feel much better when he's around. even going to the bathroom right now and getting out of bed is a challenge. my inner thighs don't feel like it can hold me up at all and i struggle to walk every morning. this must be how old people feel. it's not a good feeling. i feel like i have an 80 year old body! i did some research (again) and apparently, my ligaments are looser now more than ever. that explains why i sometimes have no control over my legs. it sucks because it's not like i already didn't feel like a rolly polly already. now that i need assistance to even get out of bed in the mornings, i feel like a big fat whale that's washed up on shore. it's not cute. not cute at all. i probably also look like a zombie in the morning because i'm now averaging on 4 hours of sleep everyday. research says that it's my body's way of preparing itself for the sleepless nights ahead of me. sighs. what else is new?
this post probably seems like it's all negative but it's not. it's just easier to notice the things that are hard because going through them for the first time really teaches you a lot. the good thing about my third trimester is that now, i can actually crave sweet stuff and enjoy them. things like ice cream, cake, boba, etc. oh and my hair has never been shinier, healthier, and longer. because of all the hormones inside me, my hair doesn't fall off like it usually does. not even when i wash it. and my hair is probably 24+ inches or something. so that's A LOT of hair. i'm definitely going to cherish this time because i know that my hair will fall off after i give birth and definitely when i'm breastfeeding. all my of girlfriends have gone through it and some never even get their hair back at all. so, i'm just going to remember this time when Ted didn't have to snake the drain because of all of my hair that falls off.
the last thing i want to mention is how happy i was to pass my blood sugar test. it's this test where they don't let you eat anything for 8 hours then they give you a super sweet juice when you get to the doctor's office then they draw your blood. i guess it's to test for gestational diabetes and other diseases but luckily, mine turned out great. everyone else i know failed it so they had to take it all over again. this time, they have to wait in the doctor's for 3 hours then get their blood drawn again. i lucked out because i only had to do it once. thank you, Lord!
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