it seems as though everyone's posting stuff about LOVE on my facebook today. and the ones who are posting it are always the problematic ones. you know, the ones who are labeled "crazy" by everyone else who observes their relationships. i'm not going to name names but you know who i'm talking about. i'm sure you have friends exactly like them. anyway, i find it so ironic that the same people who complain, whine, bitch, and moan about love are always the ones who can never even keep relationships. the people i know that can stay in long term relationships really don't complain about love nor view love as something negative. as a matter of fact, they don't even flaunt their relationships like the crazies do! they don't broadcast their love to the world. they keep it humble and to themselves because isn't it always embarrassing when people do public declarations of love then 2 weeks later, they talk shit about that same person because it didn't work out? for this journal's sake, i'm going to name the people who are troubled with love "the crazies" because that's what they are. well, to me anyway. here's what i really think about them:
the crazies are probably not even really crazy at all. they're probably just people who are clueless when it comes to being good to themselves. for whatever reason (and there are probably more than a million), these are the people who just don't get it. they don't understand that in order to enjoy and keep love with someone else, they have to enjoy and love themselves first. afterall, how can you share something you don't know about? i know it's more difficult than it sounds and believe me, i've made that journey so i can tell you from experience how hard it is to get to know yourself and be good to yourself without anyone telling you how to do it. everyone is different so presumably, the paths they have in life are different as well. but the one thing that separates success and failure is the ability to learn from experiences. you can pretty much apply this with all aspects of your life; school, work, relationships, friendships, etc. anyway, my point is, since there's no guidebook on love, it's important to learn from your experiences both good and bad. if you don't learn, you'll never have the love that you want; the love that you deserve.
i have friends who are in their 30s and are still clueless as to why they can't find a guy/girl that'll love them for who they are. i'm not going to lie. i don't believe in unconditional love with partners. if my partner ever tried to hurt me or kill me, i'm sorry but you get no love from me. you get my fist in your throat instead! the only unconditional love i believe in is the one mothers have for their children. that's pretty self- explanatory. this being said, it's hard to love someone who doesn't even love themselves. i can deal with a little insecurity (we're all insecure in our own little ways) and maybe even a little jealousy (which for the record, i think is healthy in a relationship as long as it's kept minimal) because that's what makes us human. but what i simply refuse to deal with is someone who's so miserable with themselves that they suck up all the positive energy out of you. you know, the ones who just leave you exhausted for no good reason and you don't even notice it until you start getting irritated and moody as well. negative energy does that to you. it's a creeper and you won't recognize it until you're all sorts of frustrated and angry. next thing you know, you're constantly fighting with this person. but i digress. if there's one thing i won't tolerate in my relationship, romantic or otherwise, it's an unreasonable person. i can't even begin to count the many relationships i've ended because of this. i've always prided myself upon the fact that i'm an extremely reasonable person. although i'm hot headed, i will listen to reason. but if you're just flat out crazy, i refuse to deal with you because there's just no resolving anything with your crazy ass. in short, you're just wasting my time.
what i'm trying to say in this blog is, get to know yourself and love yourself before letting someone else get to know you. spend a lot of time with yourself and be good to yourself because you won't know how to be good to someone else if you don't start with YOU. learn as you go along, grow to be the person you want to be, and genuinely feel good in your own skin and body before you yearn for a partner in love. you'll be saving everyone's time and energy if you just do yourself this favor. and leave all your crazy mess and drama in the past. if you were an insanely jealous and insecure person who tripped about everything your partner did, change that. no one likes to deal with drama like that. be kind to yourself and stop giving yourself a panic attack because you're so busy worrying about another person trying to steal your partner. trust me, people won't make your partner leave. they'll do that on their own. so block out the insecure voice in your head that tells you you're not good enough and stop worrying about shit that's not in your control. what you can control are your thoughts and reactions. be good to yourself and assure yourself that you're good enough and anyone who's with you is only so lucky to be a part of your life. even if you don't believe in it, LIE TO YOURSELF! if you lie to yourself enough, pretty soon, you'll believe that you are good enough and start acting like it. and be kind to your partner. i can't stress this enough. if you know something will make your partner happy and you can give it to him/her, do it. don't be selfish. and if things, for whatever reason, go wrong in your relationship, don't be afraid to walk away. you were not put on this earth to be miserable. you have a purpose in life and it isn't to live an unhappy and miserable life. be good to yourself and others and the universe will send a partner suitable for you. you are what you attract. if you're a good person, someone good will come your way. i'm a firm believer of that.
kiloveyoubye!
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